More Protestors Killed By ICE, Being Forced To Watch Melania

Multiple deaths have been reported of ICE detainees being forced to watch Melania.

The Trump administration has announced the deaths were ICE Detainees Reported Dead After Being Forced to Watch Melania

WASHINGTON, D.C. Multiple deaths have been reported among ICE detainees allegedly forced to watch Melania, a film critics say makes The Room look like Citizen Kane.

The Trump administration has classified the deaths as “suicide in nature,” though, given its track record, few are convinced.

Reports suggest detainees resorted to slashing their wrists using what investigators

describe as “razor sharp Trump Popcorn kernels,” one of the administration’s approved snack options. Witnesses claim the popcorn was of such low quality that detainees viewed self harm as the only merciful exit from the screening.

“It wasn’t the movie, it was the despair,” one anonymous guard admitted. “When you’ve heard that accent for ninety minutes straight, reality sort of dissolves.”

According to internal memos, several detainees reportedly begged, “Kill me. For the love of God, kill me.” Staff believed it was a line from the movie until it wasn’t.