Trump & Musk Make Landmark Deal with Extraterrestrials on Middle East Trip

American President Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk held secret meetings during their Middle East tour. In a CCC Maga-zine exclusive (Caucasian Christian Country MAGA-zine), they declared it a historic event—not just for America, but for the world and the galaxy.

It was assumed that when Musk joined Trump’s campaign, he offered his billions. Instead, he delivered a secret alliance he’d forged long ago with Starscream, the Decepticon second-in-command.

“When I first met Starscream, it wasn’t an easy friendship—or should I call it ‘fiend-ship’,” Musk giggled. “ I pissed myself, he had a pulsar cannon aimed at my head until he realized my father is rich.’

Starscream confirmed it bluntly:

“I wanted to kill that filthy human—until I learned his inheritance. If I hadn’t introduced him to Megatron, there’d be no deal.”

Details remain sketchy, but everyone assumes it’s a technology-for-technology swap. When asked, Trump was characteristically vague:

“This is a mega deal with a mega man—a ‘Tron,’ the biggest Tron in space. Space is big, really big, and so is this deal. It’s going to be better for America—and my ‘Magamericans.’ Magamerica would be a beautiful name for a country.”

Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, outlined the fine print:

“The human leader will send us slaves to mine and refine energon cubes. In return, we Formers (formerly ‘Transformers’) will work them to death in the refineries and—occasionally—use them for target practice. He’ll replenish our workforce with fresh ‘liberal scum.’”

They’ve also introduced Magatron, a Qatari super-jet donated by the emirate. Soundwave let slip:

“Starscream cut a secret deal to ‘spark’ the jet—making every piece of furniture sentient so we can monitor humans.”

Starscream owned up:

“I don’t trust the humans, especially the orange one. Vance is the only guy I trust—no soul, like me. He asked me to spark the jet so we’d have sentient seats. We both just wait for the right moment to seize power.”

Megatron sighed:

“We don’t need humans. Watching them waste away entertains the other Decepticons and spares me from battling Optimus Prime. Starscream’s insufferable, but he’s why I’m still in charge.”

Finally, Magatron weighed in on President Trump’s… upkeep:

“Given this organism’s diet and lifestyle, I’ll require a steady supply of energon cubes and frequent oil baths.”

Whether this is Earth’s greatest triumph—or its strangest blunder—one thing’s certain: interstellar chaos is officially on the horizon.

President Donald J. Trump meets with Decepticon Leader Megatron.